אני שולח בקשה לעורך עמודת חדשות רשת הכפרים האקולוגיים במגזין הפרמקלצ'ר לפרסום עבור אוניברסיטת השלום שאני בין מפיקיה. העורך ששם משפחתו מזכיר לי את המדריך של מהצופים עונה לי בשמחה ומסיים במילים "שלום ולהתראות" באותיות לועזיות. אני סקרן אבל גוגל לא מגלה לי מי הוא. אז אני מעז לשאול אותו מי הוא ומתפתח בינינו רומן אפלטוני וירטואלי. אני קורא את קורות החיים שלו ועולות לי דמעות מעצם המעבר מדוקטור באוניברסיטה העברית למנהל המטבח של אושו בהודו, ממדורה במדבר יהודה לקהילה בבלגיה.
אני נזכר בדברים שאמר חגי אלעד בחתונה של יוסי ועמיר על איך נשמותינו נצרבו בלהבת חוויית הארון וחבלי היציאה מהארון. אני חושב על איך נשמותינו נצרבו בלהבת היציאה מהארון הנורמטיבי. על הריקוד הגלובלי הזה בין תרבויות והבחירה לנטוש את מה שלמדנו מהורינו, ממורינו ומגיבורי התרבות שלנו.
הניסיון שלי ליצור ויכוח עם האיש היקר הזה נתקל במייל אוהב וחומל שמחבק את הפרובוקציות שלי ומוותר על משחק פינג-פונג לטובת חלום משותף על חיים של אמון, אהבת אמת, חיבור לאדמה ולקיחת אחריות חומלת עלינו ועל העולם. אני מצרף את המכתב ממנו, במסגרת גל הענקת הבמה לחברים וחברות מעוררי השראה. בקרוב גם אני אנסה לעורר השראה בעצמי. בינתיים שבת של שלום.
Dear Uri
Its a sunny beautiful day here, flowers on the trees and birds flying around celebrating the spring warm days. The sky is empty and silent since a couple of days, no jets crossing the airspace, all grounded by the cloud of ash from a volcano in Iceland. Some of the people here are very pleased about this, like nature is revenging on the unsustainable, climate-warming air travellers. And I do enjoy the quiet, it is much nicer without jets passing over. But I also think of hundreds of thousands of peoples whose travel plans, business and work is screwed up by this, who have to pay a lot of money to hotels while they wait stuck in some place far from home. They are just people, not monsters. For me love has come to mean not seeing myself as separate. mThats how I understand the sentence from Rabbi Akiva: Ve ahavta lereacha camocha. Means as long as you see the other as other, separate there is no peace or love.
So this experience of oneness happens with a woman or a flower, this falling into god as you can call it, and really its has nothing to do specially with that object. And if peace is the goal then whats interesting is those places where you feel separate; so for me its really easy to make peace with Palestinians and germans its much much harder to love Avigdor Liberman or the mindless, middle-class consumerist lifestyle of my brother in Israel or those crazy settlers cutting down olive trees and doing other horrible things. But they too are manifestations of god. Its a tricky , fine line . I see many activists ( and myself too) having a strong judgement on all things that do not fit in with whatever the values they follow point at as “good” (and it can be very subtle) and at the same time it doesn’t mean not to work towards these things, sustainability, transparancey, peace and so on – these are fine things. I find myself moving in this direction but the less I hold on to any idea that I know whats right and whats wrong (=values) the more love and peace comes into what I do and the more change happens around me : its a paradox because its almost like the less I do the bigger the result. Has something to do with what some people call ego I think!
In the community where I lived there where some people I just could not tolerate; they where manipulative, power hungry, lying and slowly, step by step, they took over the place. And I fought with them for a long time – and by doing that really I nourished in myself anger and hate and resentment and finally ( long after I gave up fighting with them) I also let go of the idea that they where enemies and that was a truly amazing moment. It doesn’t mean they are not lying, manipulative bastards, or even that what they did was OK, it was just seeing the contraction in me and letting it go. Peace is made with enemies – or with the belief that someone or something is enemy.
In that letting go of a belief is an expansion so full of your butterflies, so orgasmic, so passionate – thats what I mean loving what is ; not some sort of compromise from a half dead failed life!
Its now afternoon – we had many visitors today – the opening day of the Community Supported Agriculture project we are starting in the neighbourhood to share the produce of our very fertile forest garden (and make a few shekels)- now they are gone and its quiet again in the castle, only the music of Gerd’s accordion from nearby and some kids running around. Its so still today, almost like the sound of the Desert .
Its so easy to be strict with our selves, to point out all the bad habits we have our emotional dysfunctions, ecologicaly unsound lifestyles etc. And then work hard to change them. And usually the outcome is shaped by the hardness of this approach and we easily slip and fall back into the old habits anyway and feel bad about them and so on…. its so important to love ourselves, with all the flaws, bad habits and all.
When I read your mails I feel you and I can agree and disagree and think this and that, and we can play a sort of mental ping-pong with our words and ideas; when I shift a level deeper to where I am there is only love to you my brother on this mystical world , this beautiful day, as the red Indians are supposed to have said “ a good day to die” – means a good day to be alive
Love and peace
D
